REMEMBERING MALAKA LANELL PAYNE
Malaka Lanell Payne, 45, passed away unexpectantly on July 29, 2021 from heart complications. She was preceded in death by her 10-year-old son, Milan Jordan Payne and father, James Payne, Sr. She leaves behind two sons Malik (25) and Miles (22). She also leaves behind her mother Emily Payne, a sister, Anitra Payne and brother James Payne, Jr. Malaka was the oldest of her siblings.
Malaka was born and raised in the town of Bedford, VA. She was a loving mother and sister. She had a passion for art and possessed many talents. Malaka was a hair stylist and makeup artist by trade. She loved what she did and it showed. She was a beautiful woman with a beautiful spirit and always had a smile on her face.
Malaka's passion for art is not one to overlook. "Painting and drawing were her favorite pastimes," says Milan. She coined all of her work with "Art by Choc". Her artwork shows just how passionate and creative that she was. So much so that she started a Paint Nite with Choc offering others a chance to partake in her passion by fellowshipping and painting "Choc inspired" pieces. The Paint Nite was a success and left those who came wanting more. She had fun sharing her passion with the women who attended.
One of Malaka's greatest battles came about in January of 2016 when her youngest son Milan was diagnosed with a brain tumor. More specifically, Milan's diagnosis was of neuroblastoma which is a cancer that is most common in children. It is a tumorous cancer that stems from the development that takes place while in the womb. Milan entered a three-year long battle with many trips back and forth to the hospital taking treatments with his mom by his side before his untimely passing. Milan was defeated in his battle on July 11, 2019. He was only 10 years old.
Milan was a very sweet child. His smile would light up a room and his kindness and empathy for others was uncommon for a child his age. "Milan was always sensitive to others' emotions, and he always knew what to do to brighten their spirits," says his older brother Miles.
Malaka was a devoted single mother to her three boys. She spent a lot of one-on-one time with Milan due to the age gap between he and his older brothers and them being away at school. "Milan and my mom had an unbelievable connection. They were bonded on another level because of all that they went through while Milan was sick," says Miles.
Losing a loved one is never easy, but losing a child is a different kind of pain. A type of trauma that is very hard to overcome. Malaka struggled with the grief of Milan's death even through therapy. "There was not a day that she didn't talk about Milan or share a post about him," Miles stated.
The grieving process takes a toll on not just the mental health with the feelings of sadness and depression that comes with it, but it can also take a toll on the physical health. Dr. Varleisha Gibbs is an occupational therapist with expertise in trauma and neurology and she suggests that "often we don't realize it but physical pain is also a symptom of grief because neurologically there are chemical responses that connect to our emotions."
Dr. Gibbs' most recently published book titled Trauma Treatment in Action details over eighty-five different activities that will move clients toward healing, growth and improved functioning. She also details, "Its important to identify grief so that we can get the proper treatment that we need." Dr. Gibbs shares that it's important to acknowledge the reality of the bad that happens to us with acceptance and then only can we work towards the healing that continues over time as a growth process.
After Milan's passing, as Malaka struggled through the grieving process her physical health also started to deteriorate. In October of 2020, Malaka was diagnosed with heart disease and heart arrhythmia. She was put on medication and placed under routine care. Still stricken with grief she navigated her way through the pandemic like the rest of the world in quarantine. "At first it was hard because she was in the house by herself until my brother came home from school and moved back in with her and she seemed to be doing a little better," Miles states.
Over time Malaka's physical condition never improved as she continued to cope with Milan's loss the best she could. On July 23rd Malaka's heart went into cardiac arrest. She remained in the hospital unconscious up until the time of her death. Malaka passed away on July 29, 2021.
The life she lived and the love she gave her family and friends cannot be replaced. Malaka left a stamp on the earth through the passion and talent that she expressed through her artwork. The memory of Milan and Malaka will never be forgotten.