Family Ties
Long gone are the strict traditional norms surrounding what a family is composed of. As humanity evolves the esthetic of the family structure has evolved. In the past families stayed together through most disfunction to save face and keep the family intact. However, the modern-day family structure allows far more grace for parents seeking solace from irreconcilable differences.
In fact, according to a new study by Pew Research Center, the United States has the world's highest rate of single parented households. As a result, parents are finding ways to rear children into adulthood through co-parental relationships. According to experts at Very Well Family suggests that in some cases families who stay together through severe dysfunction can cause more harm than good. Children left exposed to anger, frustration, and pain learn bad parenting skills and are more likely to experience neglect at the hands of the parents' differences.
The reality is that life happens, and people often grow apart leaving the family structure in limbo. No one understands this more than Virginia natives Danny Dodson (36) and LaTonya Carter (38). The two have been co-parenting a family of six for about four years. The two met more than fifteen years ago at the mall and the rest was history. They share four biological children together and two children from other relationships. "Things got rocky, we had grown apart, so we decided it was better for us to be separated," says LaTonya.
Although the children live with LaTonya, she and Danny have found a way to keep the family intact. Danny spends time with the kids when he is not working and together, they intentionally make time for family nights. Every Thursday, Danny comes over and they cook, eat, watch movies, eat out, or enjoy some other activity as a family. "I like seeing them happy, keeping them happy is what makes me happy," says Danny.
Over the years, through all of life's ups and downs, Danny and LaTonya formed a friendship. "We have a good relationship, when we split it wasn't on bad terms," she says. Their friendship makes a world of difference for their family. Not that they don't ever have disagreements or argue they just find a way to overcome disagreements with a solution that works best for everyone. "You have to be willing to communicate, compromise, and be understanding. If you want to make anything work you have to compromise and try to see the other person's point of view," says Danny.
LaTonya and Danny are a good example of what it is to make things work for any co-parental relationship. The love that they possess for their family ties them together as co-parents. Establishing a healthy foundation is hard work, but it's not impossible. The commitment from both parties with focus on the children is key. Co-parenting is hard work, but it can be beautiful.